It's a residence hall NOT a dormitory

DISCLAIMER: I have a very eclectic taste in music that includes classic rock, punk rock, even the occasional Britney Spears song. But mostly, I love hip hop. My current favorite is that David Banner “Have you ever seen a Chevy with the butterfly doors?” song and my ring tone is usually Chris Brown (because who doesn’t like to dance every time someone calls?). But I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I’m a closet country music fan. None of that honky tonk stuff. Just the newer stuff of the Carrie Underwood-Keith Urban-Taylor Swift persuasion. Please don’t tell anyone.

Have you ever felt like a song was written for you? Well I’m pretty sure most of Carrie Underwood’s songs were written for me. Seriously. I remember listening to Carrie (yes, we’re on a first name basis) when I was moving to a new apartment at a new school in August. And in August, I was certain “The Night Before (Life Goes On)” was about my life.

Tomorrow she'll be rolling down I-10
Baton Rouge, LSU
18 years in her rearview
He's got a Friday paycheck lined up down the block
At daddy's shop
It ain't much but it’s a job
They've been dreading this moment all summer long
The night before
Life goes on.

Yes, it was pretty much EXACTLY my situation. Except I wasn’t headed to Louisiana. And my boyfriend was moving to China, not staying at home and working for his father. And, of course, I’m 22. Still, I listened to Track 5 and I cried the whole way.

But as Carrie promised, life goes on and pretty soon I was dancing to a new beat. Specifically, “Starts with Goodbye”:

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

The beginning of graduate school really did start with saying goodbye to all of my friends and my small, regional university. I had to let go of a lot of things that I loved as an undergrad and at first it did break me down. It was incredibly difficult to transition from knowing everyone to knowing no one. I didn’t make strong connections to any of the other new grads right away and worst of all I didn’t feel like myself. I’m usually outgoing, gregarious, and fun but throughout training I was very reserved. I felt unsure about supervising a group of undergraduates who knew more about the school than I did and I worried about being in a building that is larger than a lot of towns in this state.

It’s been about a month and things are starting to change. I went back to my undergrad school last weekend and saw a bunch of friends. It was nice but at the same time it wasn’t quite the same. It was kind of like the first time you hang out with your high school friends after being away at college. You change. They change. And eventually you realize that it’s ok. Because like Carrie says, sometimes we have to say goodbye to people and things we love to move on with our lives.

It feels good to be back here after a weekend away. My tiny apartment in my gigantic building is starting to feel like home. There will be bad days but I’m thankful to be working toward a master’s degree in a field I love. I’m learning to be myself in this new place and trying to make the most of this experience. There’s even a Carrie song for that. “So Small” reminds me not to get caught up in the little things and to make the most of my experience here, which shouldn’t be hard considering housing is a 24-hour job most days. Here’s a little more Carrie wisdom:

It's so easy to get lost inside
a problem that seems so big at the time
it's like a river that’s so wide
it swallows you whole
While you sit around thinking about what you can't change
and worrying about all the wrong things
time's flying by
moving so fast
you better make it count 'cause you can't get it back

I know. I know. It’s a lot of Carrie Underwood. But seriously, you should listen to her albums. There’s even a song about some of our undergrads. It’s called “Wasted.” There’s probably a song about you, too.

All the connections I’ve been making between music and life makes me wonder if I’m going into the right career. Maybe I should be pursuing Music Therapy instead of working with college students. Or maybe I could do both. I could use music for judicial hearings, sort of like penance. Noise complaint? Listen to this 10 times. Roommate conflict? Check these out. And when everyone starts modeling my cutting edge Music Judicial Model I’ll say it’s all thanks to Carrie.