It's a residence hall NOT a dormitory - 8

The first time I stayed in a dorm was my sophomore year of high school. I went to a journalism camp (yes, I was a huge newspaper geek) at the University of Missouri. The dorm was everything I had hoped it would be with its community bathrooms, uncomfortable twin beds, and bats (not the baseball kind). I was still dreaming of winning Pulitzers and had no idea the role this type of building would play in my life.

Two years later, I moved away to college and into the Honors/Scholars dorm. I lived in a room by myself and shared the suite with my RA. It turned out that I was the only honors student on a floor of late admit students. It was a year to remember. Everyone on my floor was either drunk or naked most of the time and I think I remember two programs that my RA did. One was a scavenger hunt and the other involved making quesadillas.

Everything would change my sophomore year. I became an RA and learned all about planning programs, being on duty, working the desk, and of course the difference between a residence hall and a dormitory. I also learned that in residence life, we have the best stories. I’ll always remember:

My first alcohol bust. The room had a tent set up in it and a cooler full of beer. I’m still friends with the guy I busted.

Floor feuding. My first year as an RA my residents feuded with another floor in the building and kept playing pranks like putting trashcans of water against people’s doors. They had a particularly nasty vendetta against the RA on that floor and loved to break policies while she was on duty. She had recorded a CD and some of my residents got a hold of it, played it very loudly, and called in their own noise complaint so she would have to confront them. In the spring, there was a lice outbreak on that floor and I returned home to find that my residents had made posters with louse drawings and sayings like, “Bitches get itches.” I tried very hard not to laugh as I scolded my residents and confiscated the posters.

Those crazy boys. My second year as an RA I had a floor of almost all guys. They were great and I got to be very good friends with several of them. One night, I got a call that there was blood all over the building. A minute later, two guys knocked on my door and asked if I had a band-aid. I put two and two together and figured out that my resident (obviously drunk) was responsible for the blood in the hall. He helped me figure it out by getting it all over my bedroom and bathroom. He had punched a glass door on the second floor because he was upset about a girl.

My staffs. Every year I thought I had the best staff and every year it just got better. From a silly initiation ceremony we made up one year in the laundry room to all-nighters and RA parties, a lot of the people I was on staff with are still my best friends.

My first semester as Hall Director has just given me more great stories. From crazy residents to my first real fire, I already have a lot of hilarious (and scary) memories. I’m seriously considering pitching a reality TV show to MTV. It could be called “The Dorm” and feature the staff of a residence hall. We wouldn’t even need to fake the drama.

It's a residence hall NOT a dormitory - 7

After seventeen years in school I guess old habits die hard. I mean, I tried to be a better student this semester. I started off strong, taking my Hello Kitty notebooks to class and keeping detailed notes. I even was up-to-date on the class reading for a while. But sometime between the first fire alarm in my building and the annual Christmas party at a professor’s house, I lost a little bit of that drive. So, of course, last week was the academic week from hell.

Against all the incessant urgings of my know-it-all (in an annoying big brother type of way) coworker, I decided to co-write a paper for my history class. I probably wouldn’t have written the paper with anyone else, but my best friend in the program asked me to so I decided to give it a shot. Honestly, we started earlier together than either of us would have started alone. Regardless, we stayed up until 5 a.m. on Saturday, slept, then got back up and worked for a whopping 29 hours straight finishing the paper. On the plus side: I learned a lot, I ate breakfast at IHOP. I can now say I’ve been up at 7 a.m. for a reason other than a fire alarm, AND our paper wasn’t half bad. Now I’m just hoping for that A so I can give my coworker a big, fat “I told you so!”

I was up again just two days later working on a paper for my Intro class. But, the worst of all was finishing a semester-long group project to build our very own college. I’ve never really hated group work. Until now. There was a non-traditional grad in our group who liked to butt heads with everyone, especially me. We would decide on an idea as a group and later, she would try and explain why it was a bad idea and her idea was better. She also liked to have input on everyone else’s ideas (usually negative). And of course, what would a great group member be without a little bit of a controlling streak? Anyway, at least she worked hard. And the professor has already turned in our grades so I’m happy to say my first grade in grad school is an A. I earned it in this class for sure. I’m just crossing my fingers for no more group work.

So the week was stressful and I probably gained about 10 pounds from all the pizza I consumed, but I still learned a lot. I learned that I can work really well in the right group or the wrong group even though one is way more frustrating than the other. More importantly, I learned where the library is on campus and how to navigate its 900 floors. I also learned that grad students can check out library books for four months at a time, slightly disturbing if you know my track record with overdue library books.

Despite having a better understanding of the Dewey Decimal System, APA style, and the local pizza scene, I’m still planning to put “be a better student” at the top of my list of goals for 2009. Maybe it will work this time around.

Takin' Care of Business #9

Oh finals week....
The most dreaded time of the year.

I know that a major in Student Affairs/Higher Ed Administration/Higher Ed Policy...the numerous names for what we do...we have lots of papers and projects. However, I didn't have any tests this semester. That is one of the weird things of this new academic adventure of grad school. I haven't had any tests. No more multiple choice, fill in the blanks, or True and False questions. Just lots of essays...short ones, long ones, research papers worth. It's odd. I am getting used to this writing a paper every week thing. And I'm amazed at my becoming a scholarly writer.

So my finals were pretty smooth this semester...2 major papers, and 2 presentations. The papers killed me. I stressed alot about it. Writing something, deleting it after, thinking that my ideas weren't good enough. But I pulled through. The grades for my 3 classes were posted today: 2 A's and a B. I was so proud of myself. I worked hard. I cried. I complained. I whined. I stressed. I prevailed :) and all harmony is restored in the universe and the world is as it should be once more.

Anyways, during Thanksgiving Break I worked on my papers, day in and night out, and as I was hyped on caffeine (and because lack of sleep makes me a bit delusional) I came up with a little song to describe finals week. It snowed that day and I got into the Holiday cheer, so I came up with my own version of "My Favorite Things" (a song made popular by Julie Andrews in the film The Sound of Music--which I always wonder why they make this a Holiday song, when in the scene where the song is performed it's not the Holidays). So enjoy my rendition called "Grad school things"...



Research, and essays, and Microsoft Word
Typing ideas that need to be heard
So in the library, now I will sing...
This is just one of those grad school things

It's snowing outside, and there's no more sun
I want to go play, it looks like it's fun
But back to my readings, a loud whistle rings
This is just one of those grad school things

(Chorus)
When this week's done, I'll go party
I won't feel so bad
I simply remember these dreaded things
and realize I'm a grad :)

Group work, and teamwork, and work just for me
Mountains of paper are all that I see
Check-out some books, a bell will go "ding"
This is just one of those grad school things

Projects, presenting, and just passing by
If I fail one class, I think I would cry
Finals are here, so cut off my strings
This is just one of those grad school things

(Chorus)
When this week's done, I'll go party
I won't feel so bad
I simply remember these dreaded things
and realize I'm a grad :)

Takin' Care of Business #8

So, this is a little something I wrote on facebook.com a few weeks ago about how I saw life going through graduate school. I've been keeping a sort of blog there too about my new adventures for my friends to keep up with me back at the undeegrad. I call my little notes "Life Lessons" because I like to see everyday situations as an educational component to my life. It is so worth it to wake up in the mornings when you know you learned something about life. This is an analogy, so bare with me. I was trying to make a point. Hope it makes sense to all of you who read this blog...I named this one "Life--> A Different type of Road Trip"


There comes a time in your life when you start to realize that dwelling on the past is making your present a bit gray. Gray is not a fun color. I should know. I'm going into Student Affairs as my career.

Gray means unknown.

Gray is a place where ideas are muddled and unclear and everything is just confusing and complicated....ah, gray...it's so fustrating and annoying.

It's like driving in a snow storm. You can't see what's 5 feet in front of you and you're in a hurry to get home where it's warm and secure, and as fast as you try to go, you know that for your safety you have to take it slow; and even then, it feels like your tires are getting stuck in mounds of snow and you hit the brakes just a little because you feel unsure and you just start skidding on some ice...and then [CRASH!] there was another car ahead of you.

OK, so I painted that story a bit grim...but knowing that winter is coming up sooner than later, I thought I should take a bit of time to tell you all to be safe on the road. Anyways, back to the car anology...

Sometimes we find oursleves hitting the cruise control button in life, and just sailing through things. You're comfortable with cruise control. You get to enjoy more things out of life when you're sailing, like there is enough time to savor every moment. And then you realize, that you have to hit the breaks every now and then because you're afraid you will miss your exit.

I was comfortable with cruise control. Being an undergraduate student...that was the life! Going to class, chilling with my roomies, or hanging out with my sorority sisters. It was smooth sailing. But because my exit was coming up soon, I had to get a bit serious and pay attention to my road signs.

Oh wait! I have a detour..."Going to graduate school".

So here I am on another road, making my way onto a new adventure in my life. And suddenly, cruise control won't work anymore. As much as I try to speed up through this strange street that I like to call "Present day", trying to find a new way is becoming gray. The car is low on gas and my wallet is empty. And I wonder "Should I turn around and drive back?"

But here I am...stuck in a field.
No help for miles.
Cell phone isn't picking up a signal.
GPS doesn't recognize the area.
So what's a girl to do?

I realized the other day, that life was one big road trip. I still have alot of road to cover ahead of me. And as much as I want to drive back to my cruise control scenario, where life was smooth sailing...I can't. You know, you learn to drive when you're young, you get in your first accident, or you get a flat tire, or you forgot to fill up the gas tank, or in my case you filled up but [forgot to screw the cap back on]...you learn form those mistakes. And you become a better driver. And as much planning that you may do, with the GPS and the road map...sometimes the GPS doesn't have all the current information on traffic (this is worse when the weather is bad and then you get no sattelite signal). And just maybe you're not experienced in reading road maps. Maybe you took the wrong turn.

The point is: make the most out of that trip. Enjoy the ride. Put the radio on. Sing at the top of your lungs (no one is around for miles to hear you). OK, so you may be deserted in a field, but then you have to realize you have the skills within you to move on and to get yourself out of there. All the things you learned on the roads behind you should have equipped you to get by to the nearest rest area.

In the end, the trip is always worth making because you will have learned something from those mishaps. And if you really want to get where you want to be, you can't go second guessing yourself and always be asking if you should turn around and drive back to cruise control. Time doesn't work like that. You can't go back in time. You can remember it, so you can learn from it for future reference. But you can't do it over.

So, I may not find an exit for a while. But I'm gonna keep going until I find the exit to get out of my detour.

Then I'll find another road to another destination, and maybe then...it might be a smooth ride afterall (maybe cruise control may work again, but if it doesn't I always have my foot to control the pedal...so it's just as good). Who knows? There might be a car stuck on the side of the road, and I can help them. Because you'll never know what little surprises you may find ahead. Maybe the person in the car who is stuck may turn out to be a very special person later on in the rest of your trip. Maybe because you helped them, they'll help someone else down the road. A pay it foward sort of deal.

For those of you stuck in a field...get back in the car...and keep going.

Oh hey! There's a sign...."Gas station 10 miles".

See? Something good was coming ahead.

Takin' Care of Business #7

For today's blog I'm saying what I need to say through music. A song that applies to me..."Do you know where you're going to?" (Theme song from the movie "Mohogany" sung by Diana Ross)...with side commentaries by me (on a review of my first semester in graduate school).

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?
* First of all, the decision to attend graduate school wasn't made until Senior Year, and I had no clue what I wanted to study. I figured that grad school was just something that you just go to. It was like whe I decided to go to college. I just did. I didn't think about it. It was not a choice to go or not go for me. It was something natural. Grad school felt that way. I ended up at this school out of a random chance, and out of necessity. Though I look at how these past 6 months of my life have been, and how completely miserable I felt then to what I feel now, I think I've made some progress. I was completely happy with my life back at the undergrad...and I didn't like what life was showing me here at grad school. Two different worlds, two different mindsets, one purpose: education.

Do you get what you're hoping for
When you look behind you there's no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?
* I thought that by going to a new state and a new school that would help me learn new things. I didn't understand this semester why learning had to be so hard. I was hoping to make new friends right away because that's just part of my personality. I meet people left and right on a daily basis because it comes easy to me. Coming to the new school, I became shy and introverted. I don't know how that happened. The strange thing was that I didn't feel like myself. I told my close friends that I felt like a part of me died when I left the undergrad. I have so many good memories attached there. I truly did find who I was by being there, and so moving to this new place (which was not my first grad school choice) really brought some emotions into perspective. Things I had never felt before because I had no particular reason to feel those things. Anger, agony, loneliness, solitude...I didn't get what I was hoping for immediately, it was gradual. Like the whole world moved on, but without me. I did make friends, and built a support system, and I know my way around campus...things are getting easier. That closed door is cracked open now.

Once we were standing still in time
Chasing the fantasies that filled our minds
You knew how I loved you but my spirit was free
Laughin' at the questions that you once asked of me
* Last year, when I was an RA, I met the best 12 individuals ever. We all quickly became friends and it seemed like we had known each other forever. I spent my whole life searching for a place to belong, and I found it at the undergrad with the other RAs. Never thought I would have a "crew" or "posse" or "clique" or whatever it is that kids are calling it these days. It was all a fantasy. That's what it seems like now. Everything went by so quickly this year. I thought I'd be super close to all of them once I was gone. But as distance has separated many of us from each other, friendships have seemed to weaken. I still love them all very much and miss them on a daily basis. Small things will spark a memory like a song on the radio, or watching someone dance, or a silly word. But sometimes, we have to make choices that we don't want to make. Ergo: me going to grad school far away. I knew that going away was going to bring me new experiences, and help me grow as a person. There is that part of me that is always looking for a new adventure...which is why I'm here today. My conscience sometimes asks me: "You are done with your first semester of grad school. What are you going to do next?!" And I think about it and answer "?!" Honestly, I don't know, but I hope to find out along the way. Spontaneity...that's my style :)

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?
*I'm not sure of how happy I am with my life right now. Graduate school has really turned me into a different person. I mentioned before how I feel like a part of me died. I know I feel different. I don't get the same kick out of things like I used to, or smile as much. And yes, I know that sounds very depressing (but I don't have a "problem"...my depressive state has passed). But maybe this is what it feels like to grow up. This is what happens when you're alone, and you have many responsibilities, and you worry about making the rent...it's adulthood. I don't like going out to party much now, I can't stay up all night like I did way back when, I get tired by 10:30 p.m. I'm different now. I'm a grown up, unfortunately. Laws of nature. It's what happens.

Now looking back at all we've planned
We let so many dreams just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long before we'll see
How sad the answers to those questions can be
*Another thing, I guess I should mention is my family life. I haven't talked much about it because I'm never home. I haven't been home since early January. I will be leaving to go home to Texas in about a week and a half. I'm very excited to see my parents. I just think of how this year has flown by, and that last time I was home was last Winter Break, and here we are again...another December, anxiously waiting for it to be the 16th. Excited to see my mom's face when she sees that I came to surprise her for her birthday. She is turning 78! (Side note: I was adopted by elders when I was 9 months old; my family is not biologically related to me). I was talking with my sister (the actual biological child--she is 48--I'm 22--Big age gap) the other day, and she was telling me how she's noticed how my parents are slowly deteriorating. My mom is getting moodier and losing her patience, as well as having more physical problems like her hearing and mobility. She says my dad is doing the same. His hearing is starting to go, and he is getting more mellow. I've noticed when I talk to my dad how he is always saying how much he loves me, and that he's glad I called and how much he enjoys hearing from me, and he even started to make ammends with my other estranged sister (she is also adopted--I'm not related to her either). And it makes me wonder if dad is approaching his death bed, and doesn't want to tell anyone. But this behavior of his, of making ammends and being more caring now (things he never did before), is really freaking me out. I now that getting old is something that happens...it's nature...we're all going to go through it. But I don't want to see my parents die slowly. I always wonder what is it going to be like if one day I called my house and mom or dad didn't know who I was, or worse...if I came home for Break and they didn't recognize me...and worse than that, that I'll get the call while I'm at school, that one of them is in the hospital. It's another pressure that's added onto me besides school, my assistantship, and building the social network. And if something were to happen, it would really crush me. I have dreams that my parents will be there when I get married and be a part of my children's lives...but I'm lucky if they'll make it to my Master's graduation.

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?
* Where am I headed now? Well, another semester of grad school is underway. I'm 1/4 of the way done with this journey. I will soon be looking for practicum sites with NODA and ACUHO-I for the summer. Many applications are due beginning January, so now during Break I have something to focus on completely and I won't have to worry about studying for classes for a while. Hopefully, I will get to be somewhere fun and learning conducive. Also, I'm hoping my financial woes get figured out soon. I'm going to apply for a student loan because I can't make ends meet with my stipend from my assistantship. Overall, I'm looking foward to 2009. But I have to say, 2008 was a GREAT YEAR! 2009 has a tough act to follow :)

Do you get what you're hoping for
When you look behind you there's no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?
*What am I hoping for in 2009: an exciting practicum experience for the summer, trying to make a difference at my assistanship, work on my study habits, getting involved on campus (join a group for fun so I can make new friends), and start living healthier (getting enough sleep, stressing less, not skipping meals, etc.)

And that ladies and gents is my analysis of the song and how it applies to me. Check out the song sometime. It's very pretty (almost reminds me of opening a wind-up jewelry box with a ballerina in it that twirls). It's a very light melody and has a nostalgic air to it. Hope you enjoy it :)