It's a residence hall NOT a dormitory - 5

Boy, do we love themes in student affairs. Last week I attended the regional NASPA conference, my first professional conference as a graduate student. The conference was in Tulsa, Oklahoma and the theme was “Weaving Our Way…Creating a Heritage in the Heartland.” I even went to an actual session on Cherokee basket weaving.

The trip got off to a bad start. I had stayed up late the night before watching the elections coverage and doing homework, and slept right through my alarm. Someone had to come to my room to wake me up. How embarrassing! I had four minutes to pack and no time to shower. Luckily, driving through the Midwest lulls you right to sleep. When I arrived at the hotel, my room was not ready and I looked through my bags to discover I had packed two black heels for my right foot and no black heels for my left foot. I also forgot to pack make-up which was becoming increasingly necessary as I could literally feel my face getting uglier from exhaustion and stress. By dinner time, I had a stress rash on my arm which was only stressing me out more. Needless to say, I was in a great mood to start networking.

Networking. It’s a word that’s used in student affairs about as much as icebreaker. And it makes me a little frustrated. While, I’m certainly a people person and I’m not shy, there’s a difference between getting to know people and attempting to shake hands with as many people as possible. Networking sometimes brings out the worst in us—insincerity, pretention, and of course, shameless self-promotion. Isn’t it more important to find good mentors and build close relationships to a few people than to have 50 people think you look “sort-of-familiar” at next year’s conference? I’ll reserve thrusting my right hand into an innocent person’s midsection for self-defense instead of self-promotion.

I realize I’m being more than a little whiny when my experience was actually quite good. Despite getting off to a bad start, forgetting a bunch of things, and having an interesting (and quite possibly crazy) server at a luncheon, I had a great time. I met some outstanding professionals, 30-minute mentors who told great stories including a story about a man who, as a young hall director, had been held up at gun-point by residents, and who asked challenging questions like “What risks have you taken lately?” Many of the sessions were enlightening and all of the speakers were excellent and inspiring.

But perhaps the best part of the conference, other than the heavenly Marriot beds, was the chance it gave to learn more about people from my own institution. After four years at a smaller school where I knew everyone, it’s still difficult to get used to a large school where I know no one. The whole dynamic of the department is much different and it takes a lot longer to get to know people here. I was lucky to have good conversations with other grads who I don’t know very well and professionals who I know even less. To me, those conversations were the most valuable.